Among the many stressors that are causing psychological suffering during the current quarantine is the sense that there is no end in sight to the various deprivations that we’re all living with.  In this sense, reality mirrors the logic of the depressed mind which always suffers in the belief that one’s current distress will always be there, that the present predicts and determines the future.  The feeling that the restrictions with which we’re living will go on “forever” adds a special topspin to the stress we’re going through.

There are few psychological “tips” that can readily make this situation better.  Yes, we can and should stop blaming ourselves and, yes, some form of meditation or mindfulness practice is likely beneficial.  But the main thing we should be mindful about is that, rather than strive to be “productive” or “creative” during these days of self-quarantine, we should, instead, simply strive to get through each day without hurting ourselves or others.  That’s right—just get through the day.

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Donald Trump is committed to being a victim.  He is always being misunderstood and subject to unfair treatment by the Democrats, media, and “deep state.”  The psychological function of holding oneself out as a martyr is to reassure oneself and the world that one is not guilty or ashamed, that one is innocent.  Secondarily, however, victimhood enables one to continue to do hurtful and bad things.  It’s like a “get out of jail free card.” Since one is being victimized, anything goes; any hostile or aggressive action is justified.   Given that Trump feels he’s always getting a raw deal from everyone, he’s entitled to retaliate, meaning he’s entitled to do bad and harmful things (which he does).  Impeachment is especially provocative for him since it’s a public accusation that he’s done bad things. As a result, he feels sadistic rage which then makes him have to present himself as even more of a victim.

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Most people dislike the commercialization of Christmas. Impossibly unrealistic appetites are stimulated and happiness is equated with giving or receiving just the right commodity. There is also a more personal psychological dimension to this corruption.  I explain how, since gifts are symbolically equated with love, the wish for perfect love is stimulated and then inevitably frustrated. This brings up trauma from childhood in which one’s wish to be special and perfectly understood and recognized was frustrated and, thus, feelings of being undeserving or abandoned are triggered.

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In this podcast I show how many of psychological dynamics that I’ve been discussing this year—especially those involving the role of trauma in development—apply in my own personal life.  I do so by reading an essay I wrote 10 years ago called “Saying Goodbye” from a collection called The Face In the Mirror:  Writers Reflect on Their Dreams of Youth and the Reality of Age, edited by Victoria Zackheim.  The essay is about saying goodbye to my terminally ill father for the last time.  For the text of the podcast, please go to the source.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 28:04 — 32.1MB)