Sexual fantasies can be understood as attempts by our unconscious minds to establish conditions of safety in which sexual excitement and arousal can be experienced. Guilt and shame are two important feelings that make sexual arousal impossible. Sexual fantasies, especially ones involving dominance and submission, can be understood as solutions to the problems that guilt and shame pose to sexual excitement.
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Loneliness has become so prevalent in our society that it should be deemed a public health problem on a par with infectious diseases. There is a mountain of evidence that loneliness and social isolation are increasing and are associated with a wide range of psychological and physical illnesses. The competitive individualism that riddles our culture is partially to blame.
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Why do people cry at happy endings? The answer lies in the role that psychological safety plays in regulating our emotions. The happy ending makes it safe enough to experience repressed sadness.
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Survivor guilt—the guilt one feels at having survived or thrived situations in which others did not–is a profoundly important factor in creating psychopathology. While easy to see in situations of severe trauma, like concentration camps and battle, it also affects people who simply want to have more of the good things in life than their families. Such guilt leads people to sabotage themselves in order to not surpass their family, whether that be in the realm of love, work, education, or simply happiness.
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