Sexual fantasies. Everyone has them, but no one knows what they mean. People are curious about and often confused by the things that arouse them, yet they are often too ashamed to reveal their most private fantasies to their partners or even their therapists. In this fascinating and provocative book, Dr. Michael J. Bader offers a groundbreaking new theory of sexual desire, one that will liberate men and women and enable them to better understand their sexual preferences.
Drawing on his twenty-five years as a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, Dr. Bader demonstrates that rather than being programmed by biology or society, sexual fantasies and preferences are really psychological antidotes to unconscious dangers. Armed with this novel theory, men and women will no longer need to feel ashamed about what arouses them or confused about what arouses others. Dr. Bader sensitively tells the stories of his patients and explains the meaning of their sexual fantasies. In terms refreshingly free of jargon, he reveals how his profound new theory can be used to decipher a wide variety of sexual fantasies and behavior, ranging from ordinary preferences about positions in bed to flamboyant scenarios worthy of the Marquis de Sade. And yet, Dr. Bader’s exciting new theory transcends the realm of individual psychology. Readers will come away with a radically new understanding of such issues as sexual chemistry and boredom, cybersex, pornography, and the differences in how men and women get excited.
“Arousal represents an important advance in psychoanalytic thinking about sexual fantasies”
“Based on a deep understanding of the psychology of human behavior and his extensive clinical experience, Dr. Bader offers a fascinating explanation of the bewildering diversity, and often bizarreness, of our sexual fantasies….A very helpful guide to all of us concerned with these things – – and who isn’t?”
–Robert Wallerstein, MD, former chair, Department of psychiatry, University of California at San Francisco, and past president of the International Psychoanalytic Association
“Dr. Bader has long been a valuable consultant to me in exploring the erotic in film. Now he has written Arousal, and his unique and penetrating insights are at last available to the lay public. Everyone can now see that theory can be sexy. Arousal goes were Viagra fears to tread. Too bad his waiting room is already too crowded.”
–Philip Kaufman, director of the Unbearable Lightness of Being and The Right Stuff